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“Can I Stay in the Car?”

Parenting is a series of ever-increasing circles of distance you let your children get away from you before you freak out and pull them back in close. When they are first born, someone is always holding them. When they get…

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The Yard is Yours

Just look at you now. Thirteen years old and well over five feet tall. At ninety pounds, you weigh far more than I did when I was your age, and you keep growing out of everything you have in your…

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Fatherhood in Living Color

When I was seven, a wizard came to our house after school one Wednesday. He messed with a few wires, and then handed me a remote control the size of our station wagon’s car jack. The gizmo had just enough…

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Multichannel Tocodynomometer

  Over the years, a lot of people have asked me how I came up with the strange and wonderful things I’ve said. Colorful, connective images, jokes, and metaphors that usually bring an equal fraction of laughter and furrowed brows.…

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Dad Jeans

Now don’t you go laughing. I picked these out myself. And I think I look pretty good in them, too. The casual fit, the no-nonsense cut, the dapper shade of blue. Just because I’m a man of a certain age…

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Earth Dad

A couple of years ago, my wife Dawn spied a stainless steel pail on Pinterest. Next thing I knew, it was living by our kitchen sink, holding eggshell shrapnel and avocado skins until I delivered them to their final resting…

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We R Uber

I have my glazed doughnut, my coffee, and a few sections of the Sunday paper to keep me occupied for the next hour or so. And I see it’s starting to sleet, but as long as I keep the car…

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Food for Parenting Thought

Who wants Shake ‘n Bake?” The breadcrumb coating was an excuse to eat poultry, so Mom served it up on Grandma’s Willow china once a week. We never had pork chops or fish, unless you count Gorton’s. Instead, food was…

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Walk Between the Raindrops

You like to do your homework here, and sometimes I come in and sit and pretend to work on something of my own. I don’t have much help to give – pre-algebra and the periodic table are too far gone…

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A Like-New Toy Story

Christmas was different in San Francisco. Pre-kids, we spent our free time gliding through Chinatown, holding hands, searching for the best dim sum. And though we bought a pink, plastic tree and twinkling, white lights, something was missing from the…

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