Picture this: The laundry is piled up, the dishes need to be done, and there’s a stack of mail on the counter waiting to be opened (you already recycled the junk). Sound familiar? That’s only scratching the surface. Add to that being the primary caregiver for kids and working a full-time or part-time job, and guess what? That’s still only a fraction of the things on a woman’s to-do list for the day. In fact, research shows that the average woman makes upwards of 35,000 decisions a day.
With all of that on your plate, it’s easy to let other seemingly less pressing needs, like choosing an outfit for the day, fall to the wayside. However, Jammie (it’s pronounced Jay-Me) Baker, a former Hollywood stylist turned personal stylist who started her own virtual styling business in 2017, believes getting ready is one of the most important aspects of your day. And it doesn’t have to feel like another chore. According to Baker, who lives in the West End with her husband and two children, figuring out your style can actually relieve some of the stress of getting dressed.
Baker also says looking put together can have a big impact on how you feel in other areas of your life. Even if some days, it feels like everything is falling apart!
The Importance of Looking Put Together
While it may seem easier to stay in your favorite pair of sweatpants all day, there is an importance in getting dressed in clothing other than loungewear. Baker encourages women, including her over 13,000 Instagram followers, to get dressed and ready each day for many reasons. According to Baker, it sets the tone for your day. With getting dressed being a standard part of your morning routine, your closet holds a lot of power in affecting your mood. “[Getting dressed] is something that we have to do, so we can make the decision to approach it objectively and find a solution … make it as simple and enjoyable as possible, or you can make it a thing that you dread every day of your life,” Baker says.
Not only is it important to approach dressing with a positive mindset, but it’s also a good idea to think about the way our clothes make us feel. “It’s proven that the clothes we put on our body affect our mood, so if we can control that, it will affect the rest of the day,” Baker says.
In addition to setting the tone for the rest of our day, getting dressed and feeling put together can influence the choices you make during the rest of your day. “You’re more likely to answer the door, say yes to a playdate, and more likely not to hibernate in the house,” says Baker.
Kids, Parents, and Why Style Matters
How and when we dress doesn’t just have an impact on us and our mood, though. Baker believes our children often pick up on how their parents dress, and it can have an effect on them as well. “Kids notice a mom who never gets dressed. They learn that you never take care of yourself,” she says, adding that some kids will reflect this behavior back by not wanting to get dressed when it’s time for them to leave the house.
As a mom of two kids herself, Baker is conscious of what she’s teaching them by preparing for each day. “My hope is that [putting effort into my appearance] will impact [my son] and the way he sees and prioritizes women taking care of themselves,” she says
After having a daughter, Baker has had to consider the example she’s setting for her, too. “When I had a girl, I knew that I had to be very serious about how I talk about myself, how I look at myself, how I react to how clothing fits me. She’s going to do as I do, not as I say,” she says. Baker strives to give both her children, but especially her daughter, the tools to build confidence in their bodies and personal style, so they don’t rely on anyone else for that validation.
Finding Comfort in Your Skin and in Your Clothes
Baker also stresses that it’s important to impress upon children and parents that “motherhood isn’t martyrdom.” She says putting the effort into style and getting dressed for her day while her kids were young helped her realize this. “[Having kids] changed my why with mental health. If I wasn’t getting ready [for my day], I just felt like a martyr in motherhood … overwhelmed and constantly reactive,” says Baker. “Getting ready is proactive. It really helps me see myself as a whole woman, versus only a mother, which I think is really important for my mental health.”
Mothers often put the needs of their children or partners first when it comes to getting ready for the day and finding their style. Instead, Baker wants women of all ages to know that they’re worthy of feeling stylish, just like the rest of the family. By taking care of themselves and looking put together each day, women are able to take their power back in motherhood and hopefully serve as an example and encourage other women to do the same.
Controlling Chaos with Clothing
With so much going on in our daily lives and in the world around us, it’s easy to feel out of control. Baker says moms might feel like life is happening to them, rather than being the one in charge. One aspect of the day that you can control, though, is how you choose to show up for yourself and present yourself to the world. “[Getting ready] is something I can control when [parenting] my kids can be chaotic and out of control,” Baker says.
She encourages her clients and all women to see personal style and how we get dressed each day as a way of exercising control. “We get to control the narrative when it comes to style,” she says. “You get to control what [people] see, and when you have the skill to put together a whole outfit, people will notice you.”
Developing the skill to style yourself may sound like another task to add to your ever-growing to-do list, but Baker says to approach it as just that – a skill to be learned. “You have to learn your body. You learn your personal style type, your body shape, and your measurements, and when you take that and combine it with what you have to wear for your lifestyle, you have clarity and skill,” she says. “At first it may feel clunky, but after a while you get really good at it, and it becomes second nature.”
Style Steps for Moms from Jammie Baker
It may seem easier said than done, but there are simple steps to help you look and feel more put together.
Like most physical and mental progress, it starts from within. Showing up for yourself is the first step, according to Baker. “Learn to accept your body and be grateful for it. Come from a place of showing up, rather than hiding your body,” she says.
This can be especially important for women who are mothers. These days, many parents are outfitting their kids with the latest styles while the moms are wearing worn-out undergarments and clothes that no longer fit properly. Baker encourages women to believe they’re worth having clothes they love and feel good in, just like their children. “Get some new underwear, have a bra fitting, and put some intention into your wardrobe,” Baker says. “You are worthy at whatever size you are. You are worth clothes that make you look and feel good.”
Once you’ve started showing up for yourself and believe that you’re deserving of looking and feeling good in your clothes, you can start focusing on the individual pieces in your closet. A good place to start with this is by ensuring that everything fits. Baker recommends taking everything out of your closet that doesn’t fit your current body and only wearing clothes that you feel good in. This includes what she calls goal clothing – the items you’re hoping to fit into again one day. “A goal pair of pants is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Take everything out [of your closet] that makes you go down a spiral of ‘I should be something else,’” Baker says.
After this thorough closet audit, you can lean even further into how each piece of clothing makes you feel. Aside from just feeling good or bad while wearing something, it’s important to understand the emotion each item of clothing evokes and the way it helps you present yourself for the day. “You should get ready based on how you want to feel each day,” Baker says. “If you’re leading a meeting, you should wear something that makes you feel powerful. If you’re going to the playground, you should wear something that makes you feel relaxed and comfortable.”
Baker adds that women should aspire to have clothes for events that are actually on their calendars rather than shopping for pieces that are cute or trendy.
But what happens if your closet and your calendar aren’t seeing eye to eye? Baker recommends identifying those gaps in your wardrobe to create a list of pieces to intentionally shop for. That way, you’re no longer last-minute shopping for an outfit, which can wreak style havoc.
So, you have all the right articles of clothing, now what? It’s time to assemble everything. If this is the part of the process that feels the most daunting, don’t worry. Baker breaks it down to a simple formula, which starts with having one complete outfit that makes you feel good. “For most people, that could be jeans or trousers, a shirt, a pair of shoes you love, and an accessory that feels like a representation of who you are,” she says.
This full outfit formula is what Baker often sees women overlooking when it comes to looking put together. Jeans and a t-shirt or a dress are technically full outfits, she says, but adding in accessories or layers makes all the difference between getting dressed and looking styled.
At the end of the day, there still will be laundry, dishes, and bills to deal with, but as Baker shares, learning how to show up for and style yourself can make a big difference in your life every day. Whether you’re looking to feel good in your own body, be present for your kids, or feel confident at work, getting dressed each day has the power to help you manifest as your best self and tackle – or at least, process! – many of the challenges that come your way.
