Our country has always been a melting pot of cultures and communities, and many families are basically smaller pots. During the holidays, blending this mix of celebrations and traditions can be a challenge that makes the season even more special. Being an interracial family has enhanced our holiday season, which grows more joyful every year. Our two young children are exposed to many customs and traditions, some of which have been with our families for hundreds of years.
I am of Vietnamese descent. Some people may be familiar with holidays of my nationality, such as lighting lanterns during the Mid-Autumn Festival (Tét Trung Thu) or acknowledging the sacrifices and impact of mothers during Women’s Day (Ngày Phu N~u). Since immigrating to America with my family at the age of three, I have grown accustomed to the traditions of the United States. As a Vietnamese American, I get to celebrate the best of both worlds. Most days offer opportunities to get involved in community efforts while making sure to converse in Vietnamese, as to not lose my native tongue. Sometimes I need help translating complicated ideas, I must admit.
In Glen Allen, the diversity of families is apparent. There are many ethnicities and nationalities combined in schools, workplaces, and neighborhoods. We are very lucky to be able to experience different cultures and customs. Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights, is a celebration the kids are invited to partake in each year with our neighbors. In the middle of fall, fireworks ignite the dark sky, and little ones march around with sparklers in their hands. It is a fantastic display of color, light, and hope. While participating in other families’ cultural traditions may be considered new to others, our children happily show up and engage with others. Food is then shared among everyone in attendance, establishing the mutual bond of most holiday celebrations.
My family is rooted in the Catholic faith. We celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas, as both holidays have religious roots for us. During these holidays, we divide and conquer. It has been a set rule on my side (the Bui family) that on the actual holiday, we are with our respective in-laws. To follow the Bui tradition, my siblings and I get together with our significant others and children, along with Mom and Dad, on Thanksgiving Friday and Christmas Eve. We attend mass at either the Church of the Vietnamese Martyrs or St. Michael the Archangel Catholic Church on Thanksgiving morning and Christmas Eve.
To be clear, dinner is a huge ordeal on both sides of the family. Let’s start with the spread on my husband’s side (the Brown family): delicious turkey, classic stuffing, sweet potato pie, seasoned chicken, candied yams, and buttered rolls. This is the epitome of a true holiday meal. Everything is made with so much passion. The women in his family are such great cooks. These are recipes that have been handed down for generations, specifically the all-time favorite dish, baked macaroni and cheese. The kids dig in immediately and come back for seconds. We typically follow dinner with a trivia game of some sort, separating adults from kids to acknowledge the pop culture intellectual difference between the groups. The competitiveness is always fierce!
Although I appreciate good comfort food from my husband’s side of the family, my preference has always been Vietnamese cuisine. Christmas Eve is a big event in my family, more so than Christmas Day. We all cut short our workday and meet at one location for a festive dinner. The wonderful thing about it is the menu changes every year. We typically have some type of main broth course to go along with an abundance of sides and vegetables, in addition to a few American touches to satisfy every taste bud. Instead of a sweet dessert, we have fresh fruit. It’s no wonder my tummy feels so vulnerable during the holidays – you simply cannot ignore these great options! Laughter and stories fill the air as loved ones bask in much-needed down time. The children run around the house while curiously looking over at presents under the decorated tree.
New Year’s Day is usually spent relaxing at home. Our young family isn’t keen on staying up late and waiting for the ball to drop at midnight to ring in the new year. If my husband is lucky enough to stay home with us instead of working a 24-hour shift (he’s a firefighter), we just spend it like any other day. The true new year for us happens about a month or two later, depending on the phases of the moon. It is known as the Lunar New Year (Tét Nguyên Đán) and is the most important holiday in Vietnamese culture. Family time is of the utmost importance during this period. We believe that your actions on this day determine your year ahead. So, we try not to stress, stay happy, and enjoy our blessings. I dress the kids up in traditional garments, and the cousins all gather to wish the grandparents great health. This custom (called lì xì) incorporates red envelopes filled with crisp, new bills gifted to several family members who are eligible. It symbolizes a new beginning, good fortune, and plentiful wealth to the recipient – which makes it worth the temporary monetary loss from your pockets!
Because of the vibrant and diverse community around us, we have always been very mindful of keeping the holiday spirit alive to ensure exposure to all communities and walks of life. Our family believes in fostering an engaging environment, representative of the families and cultures around us. While we may have traditions and customs of our own, our experiences introduce us to even more possibilities. Our job as parents is to ensure that children understand and accept their surroundings. The work we do now as a family will only contribute to a brighter future for everyone!
