Mike Lindsey and Kim Love-Lindsey, the power couple behind Lindsey Food Group, believe that food is one of the central things that ties families together. “For us, eating a meal together is super important. Even as busy as we are, we make a lot of time for it,” says Mike. With thirteen restaurants in the region and an additional one –their second location of Farm + Oak – opening soon, it’s not a surprise that the two are busy and that they have a lot to say about food.
The Lindseys have kept up with family meal traditions even as their older children have grown, while beginning to instill them in their four-year-old son Tristan. Birthdays are especially big. They always have some form of a cookout, usually at their house, with lots of family. “My mom makes her baked beans, which is just a family tradition. We might change up what the proteins are, but most of the time it’s chicken, burgers, dogs – and it’s just the vibe, the feeling,” says Mike. “Kim makes her now-famous pasta salad that is incredible…and those things are always there.” For the Lindseys, these dishes exude celebration because they’re not eaten at any other time except when it’s someone’s birthday.
Family Meals and Making Connections
Dollnita Winston, the founder and CEO of Family Life Enhancement, which offers family coaching and consulting services, maintains that getting together for meals strengthens family bonds and is a great way to stay connected. Eating meals together reinforces the idea that a family is like a team: Everyone’s involved, everyone does their part, and everyone has a say. This is especially important, she notes, because “as kids get older, especially as they move toward the teenage years, they’re going to be really focused on their peers. So being able to connect and keep that connection is really important – and that happens during family meals.”
The Lindseys acknowledge that with the plethora of activities available to kids, sitting down to a meal together can be difficult. “I think the world is so different from the eighties when I grew up…I can see where managing a schedule can be tough,” Mike admits. But, as Kim points out, flexibility is important. “It’s more about the conversation within the family – everyone just sitting down and talking about their day and connecting as a family. It doesn’t necessarily have to be an hour-long sit-down meal. Whatever works for people’s lives, as long as they get that quality time together.”
Mike also explains that there are a lot of avenues families can take to make mealtime easier, whether it’s eating out, picking up, or having food delivered. “And the ol’ crockpot comes in handy every now and then,” he laughs. Being creative and using different tools – calendar apps for planning, kitchen gadgets for meal prep, or freezer-friendly meals to reheat later – can help make family meals an easier lift.
Getting Buy-In from Kids and Grownups
To get the kids engaged with family meals, start with planning. Parents can go grocery shopping with their kids, ask them what they’d like for dinner, and find other creative ways for them to participate. Growing up, Mike says his mother involved her three sons by making things approachable; for example, she put everything out on the table and let them build their own sandwiches. He adds, “I think with that part, the prepping or the assisting, if [kids] want to, that’s always been encouraged.”
Dollnita, the parenting coach, suggests that parents try introducing an interesting topic that’s only discussed during mealtime, maybe related to what kids are talking about in school. For younger children, topics from their school’s social and emotional learning curriculum can be a great conversation starter. Families can also try talking about extra-curricular activities, the latest fidget toys, or games like Minecraft and Pokémon Go.
In Mike Lindsey’s experience, family tradition is a powerful influence on how we parent our own kids when it comes to mealtime. “I’m really big with it, because we always ate dinner together as a family when I was a kid. So, it’s bled over to my family. Even our holiday traditions are what I grew up with, and we still live those now.” He acknowledges that in today’s world, with busier schedules and more separated homes and divorced families, it can be hard, but parents can still try to make it important.
As a certified coach, Dollnita works with several clients on co-parenting, a situation where two individuals who were either married or dating are no longer a couple and are now raising their children in separate homes. For kids who were used to their family being under one roof, special events like birthdays or holidays can be stressful. She recommends each parent have a conversation with their kids to prepare them for what celebrations will look like – how they may be spending Christmas Eve at their mom’s house and Christmas Day at their dad’s.
Dollnita suggests that even before talking to the kids, co-parents should have a conversation of their own if possible, putting everything aside and putting the children first. “We’re making childhood memories here, which last throughout adulthood. For children who are being raised by co-parents, it’s just so important for them to have wonderful, fond memories of special events and holidays,” she says. “And it can happen, even if the co-parents are no longer together.”
Holiday Traditions Can Bridge Generations
While families may find it challenging to gather around a table for regular everyday dinners, the holidays bring multiple opportunities to get together. With Thanksgiving and Christmas on the horizon, the Lindseys are gearing up for some of their favorite traditions.
“The Lindsey tradition is embedded,” says Mike. He explains, “I started cooking maybe ten or fifteen years ago. My mom used to only do it, and then we would alternate, and now I take it on wholly.” Of their older children, Kim says, “They’re very big about traditions. So, hopefully as they get older, once we can’t do it anymore, they’ll take over.”
The couple notes that holiday traditions can help bridge generations and establish a familiar script from year to year. “The distance between us and our parents is small, but the distance between us and our kids is huge,” says Mike, comparing how similarly past generations seemed to have lived their lives to how today’s kids are growing up. Holiday meals, food, and celebrations create a shared experience that helps unite families. For the Lindseys, naming some of their restaurants after family members – Lillie Pearl for Mike’s grandmother, Kali Love in honor of Kim’s California roots, and ML Steak after Mike’s mom – is a special way for the Lindseys to “keep that nostalgic energy of family and where we come from alive,” says Mike.
When it comes to holiday celebrations like the Thanksgiving feast, nostalgia drives a lot of what’s on the menu for the Lindseys. The main dishes are always the same: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, green beans, and yeast rolls. For both Thanksgiving and Christmas, Mike’s mom makes all the pies they love, including sweet potato, pecan, and coconut, as well as several kinds of cakes.
“Kim will tell you, our family tradition is scripted. But it was cool when I met Kim, because she introduced a couple of new things, and I was like, ‘I don’t know, babe, we don’t eat salad!’” Mike says, as Kim laughs. “But you know, the family enjoyed having those new pieces.”
More People Are Dining Out for the Holidays
From a restaurant industry perspective, Mike has seen that over the years there’s been a big change in people going out for the holidays instead of cooking at home. Recalling his early days working at Ruth’s Chris Steak House, he says, “The first year we did Thanksgiving, there were about 300 people. By the time I left there, the third or fourth year, we were at 800 [diners].”
Mike attributes this to two factors. The first is convenience: Going out to eat is simply easier, with no leftovers and no cleanup. The second is that generations today aren’t as connected to the cooking. “Maybe Grandma used to do the cooking, but now that she can’t, no one wants to take it on,” he says. Mike speculates that another reason why people aren’t cooking complicated holiday meals is that for many people, the family connection is gone, and the kids are grown and scattered. “I think it’s cool I still have my whole family here, because we still have that connection. But if it’s just me and Kim – it’s a lot of work for two people, and are we doing that?”
While the Lindseys don’t open their restaurants on Thanksgiving or Christmas, preferring to give themselves and their staff time off, Mike acknowledges that things are changing. “More restaurants every year are open, and that is because [the demand] is there. For the industry, I think it’s great because you don’t lose a day, if it is that important to you. But if [opening for that] holiday is important to you, that means you’re working, your team is working, and Thanksgiving just isn’t what it was. I don’t even think Christmas is what it was. A lot of people are open and serving food on Christmas now,” he says.
Many Restaurants Cater to Special Occasion Dining
Whether for holidays or other special occasions, restaurants have become more adept at serving families and large groups who want to celebrate with a good meal. “We cater to that, because that’s who we are as people and we know how important that is,” says Mike, noting that almost all their restaurants are set up to serve large parties. As an industry expert, Mike advises families to look at the market and see what works for their dining needs. “You go to a place like ML Downtown, with the big benches in the middle that seat ten each, that’s what it’s built for,” he confirms. “We have a 14-top in Lillie Pearl that does the same, and we’ve had big parties on the mezzanine at Kali Love. So, for us, it’s really big to cater to [larger parties].”
For some families, taking their toddlers or young children to restaurants for a celebration – or even an everyday meal – can be intimidating. While the Lindseys acknowledge that as restaurant owners, their son gets plenty of time at restaurants, the couple still believes it’s helpful to expose kids to dining out while they’re young. “I think it teaches them how to behave. You give them that practice of doing it,” says Mike. While every child is different, and he remembers times he had to walk out of restaurants with his now-older kids when they were young, he still encourages parents to give it a try. “Just make sure you prepare for whatever that worst can be. But most places won’t tell you not to bring your kid.”
Takeout Can Be an Elevated Experience
For times when families would prefer to stay in, there are plenty of options to enjoy restaurant-quality food at home. “I think COVID definitely helped [restaurants] focus on how important takeout is, and what that experience can be,” says Mike. “With us, one of the things we try to be thoughtful about is how the food carries,” he says.
Many restaurants are also emphasizing how they package their takeout orders, including pointers on how to reheat the food, information on the best times to serve it, and even sharing recipes.
More eateries – both casual and upscale – are offering takeout these days. This includes the Lindsey Food Group’s restaurants, with Mike adding, “Even if it’s just an intimate dinner with two or three people, you can order from ML Steak. We’re going to pack it beautifully. You put it on your own plates, and you can have the same experience.”
In addition to re-plating take-out food on your own fancy dishes, take-out cocktails (from restaurants who offer them) are another great way to have a special occasion dining experience at home.
Give Yourself Grace
Planning family meals for the holidays or other special occasions can be stressful, whether you’re cooking a big meal at home or organizing a large gathering at a restaurant. Dollnita, the parenting coach, advises that being flexible is important, as well as trying to remain calm in the chaos. She notes, “Kids are always observing us. And when we’re off track, they sort of gravitate to those same kinds of feelings.” Even with careful planning, there will always be situations that come up unexpectedly and require a little creativity to manage.
When Mike and Kim are at home, the number one thing they keep in mind is that it’s okay if everything’s not perfect. “For us, we’re blessed to have some good cooks in our family, but we don’t get crazy. It never gets out of control,” Mike says. “We try not to make it too big of a deal, too prestigious or too fancy. Like, it’s really a family getting together and just enjoying each other.”
It’s important to realize that family meals are about making memories. Especially for our kids, they won’t remember every detail of the meal, but they’ll remember the feelings they had being together with family – and that’s what’s important.
