My daughter’s first year of college was filled with new friends, adventures in a new city, and interesting classes. It was also filled with a rollercoaster of emotions and challenges — particularly during the first semester — as she transitioned from the structure of high school to the autonomy of college life.
As a parent, it can be tough to watch your child struggle to acclimate themselves to this new chapter. And while you can’t be with them every step of the way, there are things you can do in advance to help set them up for success. Here are nine ways parents can help prepare their freshman — and themselves — for the first year of college.
Get Informed
One of the biggest changes from high school to college is that your kid becomes the primary school contact, meaning most communications are sent to them. As soon as your child accepts admission, remind them to check both their personal and college-assigned email accounts daily — details about room selection, class registration, and move-in procedures aren’t texted or shared on Snapchat.
If you’re paying the bills, ask your child to add you as an authorized user so you can make tuition payments, contact student accounts, or access year-end tax statements. Once your child is 18, you won’t have access to their grades either, so if you want that option, have them complete a FERPA form. The same applies to medical records, so talk to your student about adding you to HIPAA forms and designating you as their medical power of attorney.
While some schools are better than others about communicating with parents, sign up for school emails and follow the university’s official social media channels and accounts like clubs, sports teams, or departments like residence life. College parent Facebook groups can also be helpful, but try to resist oversharing.
Take Advantage of Discounts
As you build your dorm or apartment shopping list, watch for sales and discounts aimed at college students. You can find savings on entertainment, electronics, dining, travel, insurance, retail, and more. Before you start shopping, check dorm policies regarding items like electronics, wall hangings, and furniture.
Set Realistic Expectations
College is for academics, but it’s also an opportunity for your child to learn how to manage time, solve problems, ask questions, find their own interests, and live on their own. Don’t discount the importance of these life skills and experiences, so try to give your student some leeway as they learn these lessons. Attending classes and office hours, completing assignments, and asking for help can be overwhelming for students who are used to the structure of high school.
Review Finances
If your child doesn’t have a checking account, debit card, or credit card, help them set one up and teach them how to manage their finances. Determine what you’ll provide for them and what expenses they’ll be responsible for covering. While tuition and room and board are the biggest expenses, DoorDash meals, Uber rides, clothing, and school supplies add up quickly. If your child is taking a car to school, decide who will pay for any possible parking tickets since unpaid ones can lead to a hold on your child’s account for the next semester.
It’s also a good time to check with your homeowners insurance about coverage of your child’s items while they’re away. Consider purchasing tuition insurance through the school or on your own. Families have emergencies, kids get sick and injured, and you don’t want to be on the hook for a large tuition bill if your child has to withdraw for a semester or the year.
Stay in Touch
Today’s connected society is great for staying in touch with kids during their first year away from home. Try to resist the urge to text or call your student too often during the first few days while they’re getting settled. If they’re feeling homesick, FaceTime is great for seeing your kid and letting them see a pet or other things they’re missing from home. On the other hand, if your child only texts when they need money or if they need to be reminded to call home, set a weekly time to check in with each other.
If your family uses location services or an app like Life360, avoid constantly checking your child’s location while they’re at school. If you’re concerned about safety, encourage them to share their location with a roommate or other close friends. Share your contact information with your child’s roommate and add their number to your phone so you can get in touch if need be.
Find the Helpers
Colleges have many resources in place to help students succeed. Check the school’s website for information about health and wellness services, academic resources, residence life, campus transportation, IT support, and more. If your student has food allergies or restrictions, contact the dining staff before school starts to discuss specific dietary needs. Some schools even have multi-disciplinary teams that can connect students with resources ranging from on- and off-campus counseling to assistance figuring out campus bus routes or dining options. If you’re not sure who to contact, the dean of students is usually a great place to start. And in case of emergency, add the number for campus security to your phone.
Living with others and having people around all the time can be difficult, especially for students who have their own rooms and space at home. Be ready for your child’s first tearful phone call. Knowing when to listen and when to offer advice takes practice, and being able to direct your child to on-campus resources can be the biggest help of all.
Build an Emergency Kit
Whether it’s the first week or first month, your child will get sick. Be sure they have a first aid kit with medicine, know how to contact the school’s health center, and have a copy of your family’s insurance card. Rather than buying a generic first aid kit, consider customizing your own with cold and flu, allergy, digestive, and other first aid items. I also added disposable gloves, face masks, a thermometer, hand sanitizer, small packs of tissues, and an instant ice pack to my daughter’s first aid kit. Don’t forget to include prescription medications and have a plan for how your child can get refills while they’re at school.
Plan for Visits & Breaks
Knowing when you’ll visit campus next or when your child will come home for a break gives families and kids something to look forward to. Enjoy those moments and don’t be surprised if it’s harder to say goodbye, especially for kids, after they’ve been home for long holiday breaks. After months of eating dining hall food and sleeping in dorm beds, your child may appreciate the comforts of home now more than ever. For parents, getting used to an empty (or emptier) nest takes time, and it’s okay to miss your kid while also being excited about their new experiences.
Give It Time
Despite what social media wants us to believe, college isn’t amazing all the time and may not be “the best four years” of your child’s life. Give them time to find their people and adjust to their new routine. For our family, second semester was much smoother than the first, and we know sophomore year will be even better.
