As a mom of two and founder of a personal assistant company that helps women and families, I know firsthand that a family’s calendar can make or break your day and your mood. One wrong move – from forgetting picture day to missing a popular camp registration – and the whole thing comes crashing down, along with your confidence that you’re doing this parenting thing well.
I thought I was pretty good at managing my calendar. But with my husband and I having two companies to run, four aging parents to support, two daughters, three sports teams, one dog, and one old house that needs constant repairs, calendar management quickly became an Olympic sport. Getting everything – the appointments, the signups, the reminders, the endless to-dos – out of my email, my head, and my kids’ backpacks and into one place was the only way to stay sane.
That’s when I realized I had to start treating my calendar like the backbone of our family. If it matters, it goes on the calendar. If it’s not on the calendar, it doesn’t exist. Over the years, and after working with thousands of moms, I’ve seen a disappointing, but not surprising, pattern: we are pros at organizing and prioritizing our kids’ and family’s needs, but when it comes to our own, most of us moms get a big fat F.
My personal calendar told a sad story. It was filled with everyone else’s priorities and none of my own. Somewhere between kids’ sports, school presentations, and client calls, my health, my relationships, and my happiness were being squeezed out. Where was I in my calendar? I couldn’t find me anywhere on it.
Thanks to observing this trend repeatedly with other moms, I realized it wasn’t just me. And I knew something had to change. Now instead of using my calendar just to keep everyone and everything else organized, I use it as a reflection of what I value. That means making sure Mom matters too.
Here are five things every mom should book on her calendar for herself:
A Weekly Family Meeting
This might sound counterintuitive since it’s technically still about your family, but it’s really about sharing the mental and physical load and creating more space for me. A short meeting each Sunday evening makes a huge difference. I pull up the calendar and go over the week ahead, so everyone gets a chance to see what’s coming. We can add our needs and offer support to make it happen. It shifts responsibility off of only me and sets the tone for the week while showing my kids that I matter too.
Calendar Blocking for What Matters Most
We’re quick to block the orthodontist appointments and soccer games, but what about blocking time for things that help us thrive? Calendar blocking is one of my favorite productivity hacks. I carve out times for focused work, creative or strategic thinking, or even a fun Friday afternoon. Blocking helps protect these priorities from being swallowed by errands or meetings. And sometimes I block “do nothing time” as a buffer on a Sunday afternoon or a Monday morning between saying goodbye to the kids and starting work. Just seeing it there reminds me that my rest is important too.
Your Own Appointments
This often seems to be the first thing moms sacrifice. We cancel our own doctor visits, reschedule hair appointments, or delay a massage until later. I can’t tell you how many moms I’ve spoken to who want us to schedule their whole family’s annual physicals, but they haven’t had one themselves in years. Let this be a reminder that your health and happiness aren’t optional. Book your annual physical, mammogram, therapy sessions, hair color, or pedicure in advance and schedule recurring visits. If it helps you feel healthy and confident, it belongs on the calendar.
Self-Care and Joy
Self-care isn’t just bubble baths; it’s recharging your battery in ways that bring you joy. Maybe it’s gardening, taking a long walk, attending a barre class, or going to book club. Whatever makes you exhale or laugh, put it on your calendar. For years, I thought these things were “nice to haves” that I could miss. Now, I see them as essential to keeping my stress in check and my spirit grounded, knowing that my happiness is important too.
Date Nights and Girls’ Nights Out
In the whirlwind of parenting, relationships can slip to the back burner leaving us feeling disconnected and isolated. While we can text, DM, and tag each other in memes, it’s not the same as two hours of laughter together. Scheduling date nights – whether it’s dinner out, a walk, or just watching a show together uninterrupted – keeps that connection alive. And time with girlfriends is just as important. When it’s on the calendar, it’s more likely to happen. Let your kids see that relationships matter just as much as appointments.
At the end of the day, our calendars aren’t just schedules; they’re reflections of what we value. When we make room for our health, happiness, and relationships, we’re not being selfish. We’re modeling balance for our kids.
The calendar doesn’t lie. If it’s not in there, it probably won’t happen. But when it is, you’ll find yourself breathing a little easier. So, grab your phone, open your calendar, and block one hour this week to start booking the things that really matter to you. Your future self will thank you.
