Many parents are familiar with the host of emotions that come with watching a child graduate high school. Excitement, hope, and fear are palpable in anticipation of their child becoming a young adult.
“We were excited for the next chapter of our son’s life after graduating from high school,” said Lisa (not her real name). “The excitement turned to worry and fear as we watched him struggle with managing his ADHD, mental health, and substance use in a college setting.”
Lisa went on to describe one of the most challenging times in her and her family’s lives. Instead of a happy ending – a college graduation, a first job or apartment – they faced a seemingly insurmountable dilemma as they watched their son struggle while searching for the resources to help him.
Unfortunately, many families across the country are grappling with similar challenges. According to the 2022 National Drug Use and Health Survey, 48.7 million people ages twelve and older reported having a substance use disorder (SUD). Among young adults ages eighteen to twenty-five, 13.5 percent reported experiencing both a substance use disorder and mental health disorder(s). In Virginia alone, the rates of SUD diagnosis have surged, nearly doubling for both adults and youths in just one year. Addiction can touch anyone, regardless of their background or upbringing. It resides in every neighborhood.
How Illume Got Its Start
Kathy and Robert Wrenn became all too familiar with the impact that SUD can have on the family unit after their son Tucker began to struggle with his own mental health and substance use. Tucker began to experiment with marijuana at the age of fifteen, and what started as curiosity quickly spiraled into daily use. Eventually, Tucker started selling weed and using other drugs.
“I totally lost myself in all of this, and as parents, we tried everything to fix it, thinking we could control things. We were driven by fear and worry that our son was going to go to jail or die,” says Kathy, recalling the strain Tucker’s addiction put on her marriage and the family dynamic.
Kathy’s fears materialized when Tucker was arrested for distribution of marijuana, which resulted in a felony conviction. “I’m not going to lie,” Kathy said. “This was a really hard time for our family.”
Determined to help her son while reclaiming her own life, Kathy educated herself on recovery. She began by investigating BALM, an online family recovery coaching and training program. “One of BALM’s key phrases – You are connected to your loved one deeper than their substance use disorder! – spoke to my heart and aligned with my values,” says Kathy. “I knew I was in the right place.”
In 2019, Kathy founded Illume Family Recovery in Richmond. “The name is short for illuminate and was inspired by my motivation to shine a light of love on family recovery,” says Kathy. “At Illume, we strive to provide a safe place for families to learn, share, and grow together.”
Through coaching, workshops, and support groups, Illume families gain skills to respond compassionately to substance use challenges, fostering change and supporting recovery. Kathy knows first-hand that navigating substance use and recovery as a family can feel incredibly isolating. Illume provides these families with a sense of community.
Today, Tucker Wrenn works in Richmond as a certified peer recovery specialist and life coach. He also serves on the board of directors for Illume and The JHW Foundation, which supports young adults in recovery. After years of dedicated work to heal their family, the Wrenns share their story publicly to help inspire other families on their recovery journeys.
Reaching More Families with Hope through Media
Since 2019, Illume has served more than 500 families in the region and beyond through its coaching and support services. Inquiry and resource calls are provided for free or for a donation. Support group memberships are free. Workshops, BALM subscriptions, and coaching are provided for a fee, and scholarships are available.
Currently, Illume is working on a documentary to empower families to share their stories and enlighten people about the modern approaches to SUD and the recovery journey. The Family Recovery Documentary, directed by Jess Speight, founder of Rain Dance Productions, will advocate for a contemporary, person-centered approach, moving away from what Kathy refers to as the “outdated tough love paradigm.”
“The mission of this documentary is clear: to provide education, resources, and hope for families navigating the challenges of substance use,” says Kathy.
The documentary will feature experts presenting evidence-backed data alongside heartfelt testimonies from three families. “We hope to have the film on a streaming platform that is accessible to families everywhere by early 2025,” Kathy says.
According to Kathy, the film will weave together expertise and personal stories. She is hopeful it will create a powerful narrative that will not only inform, but also inspire families living with the challenges of substance use disorder.
You Can Support Illume Family Recovery’s Mission
September is National Recovery Month. Sign up for these events at Independence Golf Club.
30-Day Recovery Challenge allows you to play unlimited rounds of golf on Independence Golf Club’s Par 3 Bear Course from August 16 through September 13. Register now through September 8, mention RFM, and pay $50 for unlimited rounds on the Par 3 Bear Course through September 13. All money raised for this event will go to Illume Family Recovery and the JHW Foundation.
Par 3 Tournament, Saturday, September 14. This competition will be captain’s choice with a shotgun start at 3:00 p.m. Registration and putting contest with Robert Wrenn (former PGA Tour player and winner of the 1987 Buick Open) will begin at 1:30 p.m. Following the tournament, the Celebration Event begins at 5:30 p.m. in the ballroom in the main clubhouse featuring the Family Recovery Documentary project production team. At that time, winners of both the Par 3 Fore Recovery Challenge and Par 3 Tournament will be announced.
Help Illume produce The Family Recovery Documentary by making a donation today. Learn more at familyrecoverydocumentary.com. To learn more about Illume visit illumefamilyrecovery.org.
